Category: Articles
2015 Annual Report & AGM Minutes
2015 Annual Report
The Flock – Edition #8
Hello Flockers, today you’re in for a treat! Often we keep these little pearls of wisdom discreet, which ensures we’re guaranteed to impress at every QUT Hockey event… but today, we’re leaking our secrets, and what do you know? Perfectly timed for the 2015 Ibis Ball! So generous.
It’s now time to learn from the Flocks own Fashionista; Anonymous.
The ‘How to Ibis Ball Edition’.
Okay, we’re assuming some of you have reached deep into your closet and dug out your clean-pressed attire, likely worn at the 2014 Ibis Ball or your year twelve formal. Now, whilst the smell off pre-worn clothing actually makes our stomach churn, a suit or a dress can be made new by the right accessories.
Men, we recommend a strong base colour tie or bow tie that matches the ‘feel’ of your suit. Because bland is boring, try and incorporate some flare into your tie – once picking the strong base colour, then try to include a little something extra.
For example, floral patterns (very now!) or maybe a textured material for your tie. Remember men, you have wrist as well! So a strategically placed watch can really ‘bedazzle’ this traditionally plain area.
Women, we know you need no help accessorising – you’re well practiced and brilliant at it! Just stick to what you know and you’ll be sexy.
Now that everyone is looking dapper from the neck down, we can concentrate on the face. We’ve walked amongst you Flockers and observed you’re all naturally beautiful people, so let’s not hide that!
Women, this means gentle make-up. Keep the eye shadow and blush under control. Remember, layer cake is the name of a movie and not a description of your face.
Men, the most important thing for you is knowing your face – know what works for you. If you’re a 10 with a bit of stubble, then use that. If you look better clean shaven, then shave! Don’t over think what you know already works.
From facial hair to head hair, men our advice is the same: know your style and own it! There are times to trial new things, and times to stick with old faithful.
I am sure you can guess what type of time the Ibis Ball is.
Women, our advice compliments that of the make-up, keep it simple.
Let’s avoid drawing away from your natural beauty with some elaborate headpiece that not only offends fashion but defies the laws of physics as well.
Instead, let your mane be free and get the boys attention!
We will provide you with some hot fire tips;
Men
- Pluck your mono-brow
- Cut your nails
- Floss your teeth
- Use cologne, without bathing in it!
Women
- Avoid eccentric false lashes
- Boob tape is your friend!
- Keep the heels functional
- Use perfume, without bathing in it!
Finally, we would like to point out two things. Firstly, sleep well tonight Flockers. You’ll need your energy and baggy eyes are not sexy. Secondly, have fun! The Ibis Ball is all about drinking ‘ordinary’ whilst looking extraordinary.
Outfits are like snowflakes, each one should be unique and beautiful.
The Flock – Edition #7
The ground was uneven, clumps of dirt and grass entangled themselves around each other. The air was cool, holding within it a sense of anticipation. Artificial light flooded in from the sky pushing aside the darkness that had taken refuge in the surrounding area. Twenty-two bodies stood poised, their minds and hearts driven towards the same, yet opposing goals. Everything was in place. Everything was ready. It was time.
The whistle blew sharply signalling the start of the game. The two teams moved.
“I remember it so distinctly. It was chaos, but controlled chaos. The ball rolled backwards and we surged forward. I was lucky to dodge an early injury as the maroon team swarmed our players, intent on turning over the ball.” – Hank (NSW).
Minutes passed as the team tussled back and forth, striking blow for blow, tackle for tackle. Then, bang! New South Wales found the back of the net.
“Yes, I remember New South Wales’ first goal clearly. I let play continue even after the ball had hit an attacking players foot. I have to pay the bills somehow.” – Obama (Bias Umpire)
Cries of controversy erupted, yet the play remained unchanged. The score was 1-0.
“We knew we had been wronged, but we did the only thing we know how to – and that was play the game” – Tbag (QLD).
And play they did! Dubious tackles, bad traps and questionable chat littered the pitch as both teams continued their ping-pong battle.
“I thought we were in the clear, you know? One nil up, and with the condition of the field not many teams would have come back from that… but they did” – Black Beard (NSW)
New South Wales were caught off guard as Queensland eluded their ‘Hank’ tackles and managed to squeeze the ball through their defensive wall. Thud! The score was even.
“I remember the teams went into the half time break tied. I cannot even begin to relay the inspirational speeches given by each captain, but both teams went out in the second act with a clear job to do.”– Mrs POW (Innocent Bystander).
The second half began unconventionally. A ploy was afoot.
“The flying V formation was implemented. I was confident that it would work” – Spoon (QLD)
“Yeah, the flying V failed dramatically” – Kransky Sausage (NSW)
Confusion ran wild as the Queenslanders charged forward, immediately breaking formation.
“I don’t know what happened! We’ve all watched the movies, we all knew the move. I just think some people can’t follow instructions” – Panther (QLD).
The first attack set the standard for the second half, as both teams turned to unconventional tactics #Bulkfrosties.
“I just stood there and let the game evolve around me.” – Loco (QLD Traitor, NSW Player)
“I was just surprised both teams managed to score again really” – Bulakke (QLD)
The teams tousled to and fro. The score climbed to a nail biting 2-2. Alas, the game stood even as time trickled away ever so frailly. But then…
“Umpy had to have been distracted! I can’t figure out whether it would have been his fiancé on the field, or just simply Zeus being Zeus. ” – Sav (QLD)
The ball was struck. Piercing the circle from the outside. Bodies collided, sticks were thrown.
“I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. I can only imagine it must be like how a vase feels when it is shattered.” – Constable (QLD)
The ball rolled over the line. The whistle blew. New South Wales had scored.
“Did I touch it? No, not even close. I know that, Queensland knows that, even Obama knows that” – Zeus (NSW)
A sharp cry pierced the cool night air. It had ended. The battle had been won 3-2.
“I really think the best team won on the night. We were disciplined, committed and we knew what we needed to do.” – Whipper (NSW Captain).
“We may have lost the battle, but we haven’t lost the war! We will be back, and we will bring beer this time.” The Best Mount (QLD Captain).
Slowly the darkness returned to the field, and the noise became distant. The ground still as uneven, the air still as cool.
The hearts of twenty two players (plus subs) warmed and full of at least one more memory.
Until next time Flockers, we leave you with this simple message.
“A swinging hammer only hurts when you get hit. So remember always have a friend close by to sacrifice.” – Anon.
The Flock – Edition #6
It is that time Flockers! After countless hours of intensive research into our QUT Hockey teams and its members that we are able rack our trench coats, hang our Deerstalker’s and re-polish our magnifying glasses. Yes, it is time for us to write The Flock!
This month’s edition begins with a legendary tale about an even more legendary creature. Some say this creature is more elusive than Isaac ‘AMI’ Dawson at fitness training or Lachlan ‘Stud’ Mount when it is his shout at the bar. Others are positive that this creature has the innate ability to injure himself to simply avoid training. This is the legend of Pat ‘Slats’ Slattery; the shadow.
Known historian Blake ‘Bulake’ Clark tells us how the legend of the shadow began some many years ago (one to be exact), when Slat’s mysteriously injured himself -seemingly without being touched by anything, however it was noted that the wind was quite strong that evening.
It was from that night the legend of the shadow began. Who was this mysterious man who sporadically appeared at QUT events without warning, only to vanish, in an act that resembled the never ending quest for a female ‘counterpart’? Why did he walk with a hobble? Why was he bashful? Why did he refuse to lift heavy objects? And why, why did he never join in the nutbush?
These questions remain unanswered, as do the never-ending questions surrounding this enigma. When will Pat ‘Slats’ Slattery reappear next?
A tantalizing tale! Moving forward though (something they say ‘Slats’ struggles with) we are introducing a new segment this week: How Did You Even?
This first winner of the inaugural, How Did You Even? is presented to our recently departed Amy ‘Mantis’ McCollough-Fletcher for her efforts in going to the wrong field for TRAINING! We must mention that training is held at the SAME VENUE and SAME TIME every week.
How did you even?
No, seriously how?
A potential contender for the next How Did You Even? may go to Aimee ‘Solo’ Holcroft for winning the ‘Ibis’ (the turf girls version of Man of the Match) in both Div 1 and Div 3 last Saturday – welcome to the club indeed!
Here at the Ibis Headquarters we like to put those that deserve it into the spot light. So this week we have put together a little shout out to Catherine ‘Cat’ Krzensk for being more attractive, less traitorous and an all round better hockey player than her husband (he who shall not be named).
And there you have it Flockers! The May wrap up, to lighten your spirits or perhaps your pockets to purchase said spirits.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
The Flock – Edition #5
Welcome back Flockers!
Here at Ibis headquarters we are excited to announce we’ve been approved to publish The Flock for another year. So you can turn those frowns upside down because we’re back!
We thought it best to announce a few ‘housekeeping’ rules before getting started. Firstly, if you have any issues with the content posted in the flock, the process for voicing your concerns remain the same;
- Write your complaint on a piece of paper addressing it to the Ibis Head Quarters.
- Proceed to package your lunch in the piece of paper containing your complaint.
- During your lunch break head your local park, or an institute of higher education and find yourself a comfortable patch of grass.
- Take out your pre-wrapped, complaint riddled lunch and proceed to eat.
- Wait for one of our ‘employees’ to collect the complaint directly from your hands.
- Carry on with life, knowing your complaint has been successfully delivered.
Our second housekeeping rule isn’t even a rule, rather, more of a request. This year we would like to get all of you flying Flockers more involved. Yay!
So if you favour yourself as a wordsmith, or have a scandalous event you would like included in the undeniably sporadic fortnightly edition of The Flock, please do not hesitate contact us directly. Follow the steps above or, unconventionally, via email [president.quthockey@gmail.com].
Please note any complaints regarding Flock content received via email will be automatically deleted.
Now that the boring stuff is over, we can sink our teeth into the juicy flesh of our year so far.
Being the second #yearoftheibis, we’ve started it off as good as any other year; with getting drunk! For all of you lovers of beer, wine, spirits, cartoons and general rowdiness we extend our warmest thank yous for attending the QUT Pub Crawl!
Special thanks to Ryan ‘Shutterspeed’ Ballantyne for capturing the night.
The crawl was a major success. Hell, if success is measured in searing pain and the inability to function as a normal human being the following day, then the crawl hit a 12/10 (especially for this Flocker).
Congratulations go out to Andrew ‘Dragon’ Penhaligon and Gen ‘Bruce’ Lee for taking out best dressed on the night. Congratulations also go to Caitlin ‘Spoon’ Murray and Josh ‘Bieber’ Raines for completing the task cards the quickest, and showing us dignity is indeed only weakness.
A special congratulations goes out to two of our other Flockers, who decided to ignore an age old ‘incest rule’ and join the fray of Ibis that anticipate on tying the knot in the near future. Congratulations to Thomas ‘Obama’ Mills and Amanda ‘Charlie Bit Me’ Charlton – we know your babies will have Ibis hearts and possibly Ibis skin!
As is tradition here, let us finish with a strange quote and completely irrational photo.
“A watermelon dropped from a meter will hurt. A watermelon dropped from a building will kill; so be weary of how far you drop things”.
Men’s 2015 Pre-Season
The 2015 Season planning is underway! We intend to field Division 2, Division 3 and Division 5 next season – although we won’t know divisions till February, we will plan and train regardless.
Lock in these dates;
Jan 15 – 7-8pm SHC 1
Jan 22 – 7-8pm SHC 1
Jan 29 – 7-8pm SHC 1
Feb 5 – 7-8pm SHC 1
Feb 12 – 7-8pm SHC 1
Feb 19 – 7-8pm SHC 1
Feb 26 – 7-8pm SHC 1
With Strength and Conditioning with Jon to follow after each session.
During this period we will have some scratch matches for every division, with various clubs – TBA.
From March onwards we will be back to S&C on Tuesdays (at KG) and Turf on Thursdays (SHC).
Ibis Army Award Winner
QUT Hockey Club Inc. President Amy Ryan has been recognised with a National Award from the Australian University Sport (AUS) sporting body .
The “Service to Sport Award” notes an individual who has demonstrated outstanding, continuous commitment and support to university sport – be it through an individual sport, or the industry as a whole; at club, campus or representative level over a period of at least five years.
The CEO of AUS attended the annual QUT Sport Awards last Thursday to present the award.
For more visit https://www.qut.edu.au/news/news/_nocache?news-id=82318.
Various local newspapers (The Westerner & Quest Newspapers) have also covered the story.
http://quest.newspaperdirect.com/epaper/viewer.aspx – page 54
Recipient Amy Ryan, with CEO of AUS Don Knapp
2014 Annual General Meeting
The 2014 AGM will be held on Sunday the 2nd of November, 12:00pm, at the All Stars Baseball clubhouse – 116 Gerler Rd, Hendra QLD 4011.
Please join us to discuss the 2014 season, and assist in making plans for the 2015 season.
Management positions will be voted upon and appointed for the 2015 season;
President
Vice-President
Secretary
Treasurer
Women’s Co-ordinator
Men’s Co-ordinator
Positions Descriptions;
QUT Hockey Club Inc. President (content coming soon)
QUT Hockey Club Inc. Vice President
QUT Hockey Club Inc. Secretary
QUT Hockey Club Inc. Treasurer
QUT Hockey Club Inc. Women’s Competition Coordinator
QUT Hockey Club Inc. Men’s Competition Coordinator (content coming soon)
Social Season
The 2014 social season is done and dusted. We’ve enjoyed the laughs, the photos, the hydration, but especially the hockey.
Thank you to all that were involved in the events throughout the year, from those to organized to those who simply showed up!
Visit this page early 2015 to find out what’s happening on the social scene.
Qut Hockey Club Inc. 